Dear Mom...... I'm still here. Just dealing with my life. Seeing a back surgeon again soon I hope. Have an appt. sometime early next month I think with Sunnybrook Hospital to get pre-assessed to see him. What bullshit, I'm telling you. In the meanwhile, I walk less and am in more pain. My depression has deepened because I miss you so much and the daily misery I'm in. Dr. upped my pain meds again. I'm on a ridiculous amount of narcotics for this pain and they still aren't working. I'm tired. I told the Dr. I look forward to the day I go to bed and just don't wake up any more :-(
I love you mom. It's been almost 9 months since you left us and it's not getting any easier. When does it? I wish I had you to talk to still, to lean on, to seek your wisdom. You were one smart cookie Ma. :-) I really miss your smile.
My phone is dying. I have to get a new one. This piece of crap won't allow pics to be removed from it and I'm afraid I'll lose the pictures of you on it. I'm buying a new phone and the guy I'm buying it from thinks he can save my photo's of you. I hope so....... I'll lose it if we don't.
Sending you a big hug mom....... the kind you used to love to get and give....... I hope when you check in on me you aren't too disappointed. I'm doing the best I can right now. Love you.
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