Sunday, 31 January 2016
Dear Mom......... trying
Dear Mom......... I am trying to move my ass out the door today. I'm still not dressed yet and it's 12:30 pm. Mind you the floors are clean and dishes done, etc. Dogs are all having a sweet snooze. ok, I really have to do this. Wish me luck :-) xoxo
Saturday, 30 January 2016
Dear Mom........ blah, blah, blah
Dear Mom....... it's been way too long since I wrote on this blog but believe me, you are in my thoughts daily. Many things have been happening, none really good. I'm fighting a battle with depression and I'm fighting to care about something but it's drawing away from me and I really couldn't care less any more. I'm tired of being in constant chronic pain. Waiting for surgeons to book appts. I missed my last cancer check up and couldn't give a shit really. I was assaulted by a crazy bitch yesterday and then at 4:18 am she decided to torch an apt. on her floor. When I say crazy, I mean crazy. Yea, I know it's not politically correct but I really don't give a rats ass about that either.
I keep seeing this stupid commercial about Ontario cutting back something or another that will effect how seniors will see their Doctors. It's very vague but the gist of it is there are unfair cutbacks coming to Doctors that will effect how our seniors or when our seniors will see the Doctors they need somehow. I hate the fact it's so damn vague. I want facts, not just innuendos. Anyway, I keep seeing it and at the end of the commercial there is a woman, about my age, maybe less, and she has her older mom at the Dr. office. And as they sit there, and the voice over is going, the daughter puts her hand over her mom's hand and then her mom takes her other hand and puts it over the daughters. I'm both comforted and torn when I see this. It makes me miss your touch so much. I miss touching you and feeling the warmth of my loving mom. I miss your beautiful smiles too.
I thought I was somewhat prepared for your death. It wasn't a huge shock but I wasn't. It's been 6 months Ma.... and it's still as fresh as it was the day you left. I didn't understand what it was like, how my life would be, so empty, so lonely. My siblings are as usual, engrossed in themselves and looking for money you supposedly had that never existed. Something you said in a dementia moment to your other daughter that got her wound up and looking for it. I actually had a good laugh at one point but really..... it was so pathetic. For the most part they couldn't have given a shit about you but the minute they thought you had a bit of cash........ geez they never paid that much attention to you when you were alive. And that son of yours, I spent most of what was left in your bank account on lawyers thanks to his shit. Oh, and he's not through yet. His mental health issues are so serious and he swears I have to probate your will. He's emphatic about it. So now he's waiting for me to do your final taxes because he swears I have to probate your will then. He's like a dog with a bone. You had a couple of thousand maybe. It went mostly towards the last of your funeral that wasn't paid for. And lawyer fee's thanks to his bullshit. In the end, if they are lucky, they will get a couple of hundred each but since I have no address or phone number for him and he never gave it to you... how am I suppose to give it to him. Let him take me to court. I have witnesses and then maybe in front of a judge I can get an address to send him a cheque. My happy day will come when someone calls me to tell me he had a massive coronary and died painfully. :-)
I keep seeing this stupid commercial about Ontario cutting back something or another that will effect how seniors will see their Doctors. It's very vague but the gist of it is there are unfair cutbacks coming to Doctors that will effect how our seniors or when our seniors will see the Doctors they need somehow. I hate the fact it's so damn vague. I want facts, not just innuendos. Anyway, I keep seeing it and at the end of the commercial there is a woman, about my age, maybe less, and she has her older mom at the Dr. office. And as they sit there, and the voice over is going, the daughter puts her hand over her mom's hand and then her mom takes her other hand and puts it over the daughters. I'm both comforted and torn when I see this. It makes me miss your touch so much. I miss touching you and feeling the warmth of my loving mom. I miss your beautiful smiles too.
I thought I was somewhat prepared for your death. It wasn't a huge shock but I wasn't. It's been 6 months Ma.... and it's still as fresh as it was the day you left. I didn't understand what it was like, how my life would be, so empty, so lonely. My siblings are as usual, engrossed in themselves and looking for money you supposedly had that never existed. Something you said in a dementia moment to your other daughter that got her wound up and looking for it. I actually had a good laugh at one point but really..... it was so pathetic. For the most part they couldn't have given a shit about you but the minute they thought you had a bit of cash........ geez they never paid that much attention to you when you were alive. And that son of yours, I spent most of what was left in your bank account on lawyers thanks to his shit. Oh, and he's not through yet. His mental health issues are so serious and he swears I have to probate your will. He's emphatic about it. So now he's waiting for me to do your final taxes because he swears I have to probate your will then. He's like a dog with a bone. You had a couple of thousand maybe. It went mostly towards the last of your funeral that wasn't paid for. And lawyer fee's thanks to his bullshit. In the end, if they are lucky, they will get a couple of hundred each but since I have no address or phone number for him and he never gave it to you... how am I suppose to give it to him. Let him take me to court. I have witnesses and then maybe in front of a judge I can get an address to send him a cheque. My happy day will come when someone calls me to tell me he had a massive coronary and died painfully. :-)
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